I'm a simple girl in a complex world.

PMS is a B#%$@

I'm not that girl who gripes and is mean because she gets her very much expected monthly visit. However, a couple of days before it shows up my stomach automatically grows a very large hole which means it can NEVER be full and a girl can't help it, so I eat like a pig.

Besides having to workout extra hard on those days, I have actually grown to appreciate the visits. Well, that's what I thought until I started sharing my home with a man AKA the Mr.

The other terrible occurance that takes place is my crazy emotions. It wasn't so bad when I was single and living alone. It sucks a lot now that I'm married to a man who came from a home with no sisters. This week, I cried myself to sleep because my poor hubby was too tired to give me some loving at midnight after going to work, school and coming home to do homework. Yes, friends - I cried, well maybe more like sobbed.

I was embarassed but hey, this is the price he pays for being a heterosexual.

Happy loving

Now that's commitment

I found this article on CNN Thursday morning and boy did it grab the core of my heart.

This is my prayer for the Mr. and I - To be accepting of one another and just love one another. It's plain and simple!

This advice is not for daters, it's for those who have made a vow "for better or worse".

In less exactly twenty-four days we'll be celebrating our first of many anniversaries and that it self is an accomplishment. This started with one and now 72yrs later,they are still celebrating their love.


Happy loving!

New hobby

I'm not the queen of fashion but I sure do appreciate a cute outfit. I've always said I hated shopping but I think the problem was that I didn't know how to shop. These are my list of things I did to help me enjoy shopping. If you have three of the five items on the list, I think your idea of shopping might change. Before you come up with another list of why you REALLY hate shopping, just try my suggestions and let me know if I'm correct. :O)

1. Have money to spend.
I'm the queen of budgeting and all my friends know it. I make sure I have enough money and a bit extra just in case I find a cute shoe or jewelry I MUST have. To be honest, it just feels good knowing that you can afford what you are buying. Shopping while broke is the second most depressing way of shopping. The first is shopping after a weight gain.

2. Look your best.
Wear the right under garment. Don't wear a bad bra if you'll be shopping for shirts, especially tank tops and especially if you have too much or no boobs. If you wear make-up, put some on. If you can, do something with your hair. I'm not saying, you should look like you are going to prom but at least a first date look will do the work. The truth is, that's probably what you'll look like when you actually wear the outfit(s) at home. If you don't like an outfit in your best at the store, more than likely you won't like it when you get home.

3. Go with the guy/gal in your life.
I went with my husband and luckily for me, I'm married to a guy who thinks I'm the sexiest woman he's ever met (I know crazy right?) So, when I tried something on, watching his eyes brighten up or him act like a pavlov's dog when I turn arround helped decided on what to buy. I went shopping with some girls the other day and my friend bought a dress because most of us agreed it was sexy - It made her feel better and reinforced what she was already thinking.

4. Try clothes on with appropriate sets/accessories.
Don't try on cute jeans with the t-shirt you walked into the store with. It probably won't look right. Don't try a summer skirt with a turtle neck sweater. Again, you won't get the full look. Add some accessories to it, even if you don't buy it. At least you'll know how great you would look in those jeans with a nice pair of shoes or awesome necklace.

5. Know what you are looking for.
This is very specific to me but I am thinking I'm not that unique but when I go to the store not sure what I am looking for, I get overwhelmed. I go into every isle and department and 2hrs later, I feel like I'm stuck in an elevator with 100 kids screaming. Not fun at all.

I hope these suggestions work for you.

Happy shopping!

Love is in the air

And then it disapears. I only have one wedding this year and technically I'm not invited. A friend of mine had a very small family only wedding. There's been a lot of getting together and break-ups in my life (dating).

In less than two months two friends broke up with really nice guys who just weren't a good match for them and apparently one of them was because of me! I'm all about breaking up dating relationships that would potentially end up as future divorces!

My best friend is in a pretty serious relationship and so is another really good friend of mine. I want the absolute best for them. As a woman who grew up in a terrible marriage and has been forunate to be in a pretty healthy one -I want my friends to have even better than what I have.

My standard for them are definitely high and I am not interested in lowering them. I don't have shallow standards for my friends. I want them to be with men who fit the list of what they wanted when they were single. Sometimes it's easy for us to change our wants and desires to fit the current person we are dating which is a huge mistake if you ask me.

I stumbled upon this article the other day and it got me thinking. I wonder how many of my friends if they were really honest with themselves would call off a wedding like the people in this article.

I hope you get something out of it and if you are not in this stage of life, pass this article to your friends and family members who are in this stage.

Happy dating/breaking up!


Sometimes, it's the little things that make a HUGE difference. Monday night was bad for me. I came home to an empty house, the Mr. is back in school but thank God this is the last quarter. My professional life is lacking at best and to top it all off - I went bathing suite shopping. The experience wasn't too bad but I got frustrated because the ones I liked were too big.

So, when the Mr. came home I started crying. We've been married for almost a year and seeing me cry makes him sad which makes me very happy. He tried to comfort me but by then I just needed to shed some tears and feel sorry for myself (not a good look by the way).

He let me cry and say everything that was in my heart which was nice and by morning time I was feeling tons better. I felt even better when I came home from work the next day to bouquets of gorgeous sun flowers and daisies! I'm very blessed and like someone said to me "I have a lot to be thankful for" starting with the Mr.

If you read this, know that I love you with everything I have!


The weekend I came back from Nigeria, I decided I was going to stop eating meat. I've done this twice before and the longest run was 7 months - Ribs got to me :O)

Well, it's been about three months and I only miss BW3 wings. The real reason I made this decision was my body no longer appreciated the smell or taste of most types of animal by-products. The smell of cooked meat makes me want to vomit.

The Mr. has been very supportive of me but tonight took it to whole new level. I made dinner which consisted of morning start vegetarian ribs, sauteed green beans and sweet potatoe. To my surprise he ate it all and actually complimented the food. I've been raving to him and everyone who will listen to me about how amazing these ribs are and finally I got confirmation from him tonight "I thought it would be rubbery, but it's not"

So, if you ever want to try low cal ribs - Try the morning star vegetarian option. It is DA BOMB!!!!


Kettle is my favorite and pretty much just about everyone in my immediate circle loves them too. Yes, even the 3yrs old step daugther and 5yrs old nephew.

They both were whining about wanting to snack on something, they had fruits for lunch and mid afternoon snack so watermelon wasn't going to cut it this time. So,I decided to pop a bag and boy you should've seen their faces. Needless to say, popcorn is now my favorite snack to keep in the house.

They are semi healthy if you get the basic ones and if you ever have extra cash check out the BEST POPCORN I've ever tasted http://www.popcornopolis.com/. We bought these last year as Christmas gifts. The Kettle ones are the best everrrr!!! I am biased, so maybe you'll like the others. Either way, try them if you can spare the extra change and yes, they are worth every penny.

Happy Snacking!

Hiatus is over

I promise this is not someone who stole my identity to blog on my behalf. I have been MIA for two reasons:

One, I haven't felt like I have had anything of value to say. Secondly, I have been preoccupied with life that even when I think I have something valueable to say, I fall asleep as I am typing.

Here's an update of my life since May. I started playing softball again with the Mr, but he's completely new to the sport. We are playing with the same group of friends I've been playing with for the past four years. We renovated our house and I used that word lightly. We painted the living room and kitchen and truly renovated the bathroom. It Cost way too much money but I guess it will be worth it when it's time to sell.

God has been doing a lot of talking and luckily I've been listening. I have a single women's event in the works, if I don't chicken out.

The Mr. and I celebrated 11 months of marriage on Thursday and this coming weekend, I am taking an all girls trip with six great girls to Lake Cumberland.

I almost went back to creamy crack at least twice but I held strong thanks for Yemi and the Mr.

Apparently, I made one of my friend break up with her now ex-boyfriend but she and I agree that it was for the best.

Speaking of dating, a couple of my friends are in dating relationship and so expect to hear a lot about that topic.

Happy Saturday!

Baby steps

I've been trying very hard to eat healthy without starving myself. Since it's warmer outside, I'm more active. There are three goals here: One is to lose weight. The second and most important, is that I want to be healthy and finally I promised to not gain any weight my first year of marriage unless I get pregnant. I know it's a big goal but I just don't want to be that bride that gives up on herself because she has a man.

I've been taking small steps and not trying to do too much or do something I can't stick to for too long. I had a proud of myself moment tonight. I watch the Mr. eat Arby's fries without eating one. If you know me, you know salt is my weakness. I never knew a day would come that I would have the opportunity to eat my favorite bad food and turn it down. Oh trust me, I was hungry but I just made the choice to say NO TO CHOLESTOROL AND SATURATED FAT! :O)

I don't know if this will happen tomorrow or ever again, I hope so but I am very proud of myself today!

Happy eating healthy!

Nappy Love

When the Mr. asked me for my phone number, I had braids and wore them for sometime and during those times, as a natural girl I was quite nervous about what he'd think about dating a girl with naps! The last Nigerian guy and just about every Nigerian person I know including my own family thinks nappy hair is ugly hair. So, you can imagine the relief I got when he told me he wasn't a big fan of women who only wore weave.

That may not sound like much but most Nigerian men I know, don't know any different. Weave to them is good hair and any woman who did other wise was just not going to cut it. The more we spent time together the more I learned about his hair preferences:
1. I don't like short hair (by the way, I cut my hair 3months into our dating relationship).
2. Girls with natural hair allow you to touch their hair (that made me SMILE because I was natural and it's true!)
3. I like the way you look in braids
4. Whatever you do, DO NOT WEAR A WIG! :o)
5. Locks are ok but I don't prefer them.

We may not be a perfect hair match but he is the biggest fan of my hair. In good times, he celebrates with me and in bad times he helps me research and takes pictures so we can note improvement.

Don't know what we (me & the naps) would do without his love and acceptance.



I was appalled by this headline and even more shocked when I read the article. Why any parent would be accused of adopting a child just for the publicity is shocking to me. I'm an indifferent fan of now Ms. Bullock. She seems like a nice lady and unless she's using the kid to make money, which I doubt or she is abusing the child - The world should commend her and other people who make the choice to adopt.

Sometimes, black people piss me off! We should be more concerned that black children are not being adopted instead of wondering why they are being adopted by white people. I've always wondered why Oprah never adopted a child or two. I've always wondered why The Smiths haven't adopted a child. Hell, why haven't we heard of other famous black people adopting black orphans.

All I'm saying is that when anyone has enough love to adopt a child that may end up saying "you're not my mommy or daddy!" we need applaud them, not assault them with accusations.

Happy family planning!


I always wondered how parents kept their "personal items" out of reach from their children.

My 11 yr old sister spent the weekend with us and usually she has very limited access to our bedroom but I was feeling generous this time around and boy did I regret it. I had to make up a white lie when she found a chocolate flavored spray to numb the throat on the dresser. When she asked what it was for, I said it was to numb the throat. Easy right? But then she said, "oh for when it hurts?" and I said yes sure!

That was my story and I had to stick to it!

Happy parenting/sistering!

Spring cold

Anyone who knows me, knows that I'd rather be burning up than feel any level of cold. Even in humid Nigeria where my clothes were soaked with sweat after a twenty minute walk, I still didn't miss or wish for cold weather.

So, you can only imagine how upset I was when we came back home to a cold spring. During warmer seasons, I'm a totally different person. I wake up as early as 5am, no matter when I go to bed. I actually want to workout and put an effort in the way I look. These last couple of weeks have been very hard for me. My brain says it's spring but my body is saying "why are we wearing winter clothes then?" I absolutely hate it.

The good news is that this past Friday was probably the best day so far this season. There was enough sun to keep us warm, enough breeze to not be burnt by the sun and the clouds were the perfect shade of blue. My church had a picnic and I got to play taboo with some of the ladies. I got to meet two new people and learned more about the others.

I say all this to say that even game nights are better outdoors when the weather is pefect!

Happy Spring!

Yummy and Easy

I've made this twice now in less than a week and each time I've made it, I didn't have been enough for leftovers, even though I planned for it. It's simple and requires only five ingredients. I've served it with mac and cheese, broccoli, sweet potatoe and pasta salad. Good luck and happy cooking!

Bonesless Chicken Breast (thawed)
Parsley flakes
Parmasean Cheese (the dry one)
Ritz Crackers
1 stick of margarine (for healthy look, just spray pam or use olive oil).

1. Cut the chicken in half to lower cooking time, then set aside.
2. Preheat oven for 375 degrees.
3. Make a cooking station for the dipping you'll be doing.
4. Crush the ritz crackers, you can do this by placing it in a sturdy zip lock bag and smash with a hammer or bottle. Then pour into a bowl.
5. Pour half a can of the parmasean cheese in a bowl unless you are cooking for more than 7 people.
6. Melt butter in a plate big enough to fit the chicken and set aside (you might need to reheat it up if it get cold). Add the parsley to the butter (use as little or as much as you like).
7. Dip the chicken in butter or spray the chicken
8. Dip it in the ritz cracker crumbs and make sure the chicken is well coated.
9. Dip ritz coated chicken in the parmasean cheese
10. Place it on a greased or sprayed pan and bake for 25 - 35 minutes until chicken is done (compltely white when you cut the thickest part of the breast).

Good luck and enjoy all the compliments you'll receive! :0)


The Mr. is already fast asleep and all I want to do is crawl into the bed with him and tell him how wonderful he is and how much I appreciate him even if I don't always act that way.

I saw "Why did I get Married 2" this weekend and it made me think about why I got married. I got married for selfish reasons. I had found a man with intergrity, loved God, loved me and the six pack didn't hurt either! A man that met 8 of my top 10 qualities I looked for in husband. I would have been stupid to turn him down. Does he has his flaws yes, but trust me the good outweighs the bad. I married him because I knew he would love, cherish, lead ... but not once did I think let me marry this guy because of all the wonderful things I could do for him.

I think most of us are this way and in my case, I came in like a leach just wanting to feed but God has graciously taught me that my marriage is not a one way street. He has given me this man to love, cherish, follow...

And as long as I shall live, I vow to do those things especially when I don't feel like it!

Happy Marriage!

By the way, if you get the chance go see the movie or at least rent it when it comes you. You will def learn something from it and excercise your abs will all the laughing you'll be doing!

Time flies

This time last year I was planning a wedding, my wedding actually! April 6, 2009 was the exact date the Mr. asked me to spend the rest of my life as his wife! Exactly a year to that date, I gave him an answer to the question "will you be my girlfriend?"

I love that MAN and I hope to love him more tomorrow!

Oh Spring

Waking up is more lively
Going to bed is more enjoyable
I especially love the beautiful melodies the birds use to wake me up
If you want great music, listen to the birds at 5am
The songs are like a love song from God to me

Going to work is more pleasant when I have a bold color skirt and my toes are out
From I-275 to I-75, the trees wave to me with their bold luscious green leaves
The sun, OH the sun – How beautiful you are! All of this, created so I can see the Glory of God.

Spring brings the real me out!


We made it back in one piece and boy was it a GREAT trip!!! I'll have more post with different aspects of the trip along with lots of pictures.

The highlights of the trip:

1. Suya (Grilled beef, ram, or chicken with a special spice).
2. Old school romance - The type you get with partial electricity, no computer and no work the next day ;O)
3. Seeing genuwine smiles
4. Walking almost 2 miles everyday.
5. $12 AMAZING mani/pedicure - yes both for only $12.
6. Listening to my maternal grandmother tell her life story as my husband recorded and asked questions.
7. Eating fresh delicous mangoes.
8. Being so stress free that fighting with your spouse seems meaningless.
9. Pricing things in the markets aka playing the bargaining game with merchants.
10. Introducing my husband to my family and meeting his aunts and uncles.

more to come...HAPPY TRAVELS

Happy birthday...

Twenty-five Was a big deal for me. A quarter century, are you kidding me? I had a "white party", not not only white people were there- you just had to wear all white. It was so much fun. My best friend turns 25 today and I can't wait to see what the next twenty-five years has in store for her and our friendship.

Happy Birthday!!!!

the list girl

The Mr. has twelve weeks away from school and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it. He's excited about not having homework and being able to come home right after work. What he doesn't know is that this List making girl has so many things on the list that we can do together.

We started with the first of 8 salsa classes today and boy was that fun. We both love dancing and we had a great time. Next on the list is cooking class - One of us love cooking but we both love to eat. Hopefully, by the end of the class we'll both love it and be good at it.

With the amount of time we will be spending together, I'm sure some good ole fights will come up but hey some things are worth fighting for right?

Happy living!

My friend Oscar

I think the last time I watched the award show was when Denzel Washington won Best Actor. I guess it's probably the same year I decided that I can't give television too much time anymore - I graduated to fb!

I'm not really excited about it this year but as always, I am very excited to see what everyone will be wearing. So, here is my very short "best list" for the 82nd annual award show.

Best Dressed Woman - Elizabeth Banks

Best Dressed Man - Jake Gyllenhaal

My butt belongs to only one crotch

I'm a snob in two things in life and I'm damn proud of it. I won't eat food that does not look good and I sure as hell won't dance with just any guy. In my single days, if a man wanted to dance with me he had to treat me like a lady. Ladies get approached with a smile, an hello and a would you like to dance. If a guy ever came up behind me, I would just stop dancing. Even after all of that, no man ever got to dance with me through a whole song. I just think it's best to keep them wanting more.

As a single woman, it made me want to cry and in some cases puke when I saw women working extra hard to make sure their butts were stimulating the "lucky" guys crotch enough. I confess that in my early days, I gave in to such expectation but hey at least the guy asked first. :O)

Last night, I saw a woman give butt massagea to men in the form of dance, if that's what they call it these days. I give her props because she is definintely one to give her best at anything she does. The way the dancing started was quite interesting. The guys would watch her, walk close to her - no conversation. Then a few minutes later, he would reach for her waist and that was the mating call apparently. They would dance face to face for literally thirty seconds and then the main entree was served! I watched this ritual happen at least two times.

Unfortunately, my first instinct was to judge her but then I realised that nothing makes me better than this woman. It is only by the grace of God that I am who I am today. So, I prayed for her. Here's my prayer for the lady with the blue corset and skinny jeans! I pray that God will use the people in your life to reveal His love for you and let you see yourself how He sees you. I pray that you will love yourself and most of all I pray that if you don't already know, I pray you know and accept Him as your Lord and Savior. I also pray that one day, you'll meet the perfect crotch for your butt.

I hope

To live a life that reflects the finished work of Jesus.

To love others more than I love myself.

To love God with everything I have, say and do.


I just don't understand why people care who Jake from the "Bachelor" picks! I only know his name because as a woman, I can't go out to lunch with my girlfriends or to work without hearing about him.

The woman in me who loves connecting with her lady friends sits there and listens to the junk but the annoyed girl in me wants to scream - I DON'T CARE ABOUT JAKE UNLESS HE'S THE GUY YOU ARE DATING OR MARRIED TO!!!

But, I care too much about the female relationships I have, so I just listen and pray they'll change the subject!

Happy Friending!

Mixed reviews

One could argue that God has a great sense of humor! If I think about the man I married or some of the experiences I've had, I just can't help but come to that conclusion.

My church along with many other churches in Cincinnati are doing a series on freedom and part of this series is joining and attending a small group. A small group for those who do not know is a group of 3 - 15+ plus people from all walks of life just doing life together in hopes to grow closer to one another and God.

I have a women's small group that I host and the Mr. and I attend one at our church that has young engaged or married couples and one young lady. Edward and I are the only couple who is not of a different racial background and myself and the uncoupled lady are the only black women there. Actually, the other lady is half white. If you know me, then you know how funny it must have been for God when I realised that fact! I humored myself and laughed as well.

I love God and how he works and all his inside jokes and I look forward to the relationships that will develop through our group.

Happy Black History Month is over already?!?!?!

Maybe I'm not so simple

The Mr. doesn't understand why I have "need to cry" days or moments. Sometimes, life isn't sad but you have a lot of emotions bottled up and the only way to let them out is to cry!

The other night, he had to be up at 4:30am and I needed to cry - I could have stayed in bed and kept him awake but I decided that this time I need my Heavenly father to hold me as I cried. I woke up on the couch feeling refreshed and much closer to God.

Sometimes, this girl just need a good ole clean tear party to feel like herself again!

Happy Living!

Nappy Roots

This will be my third time going natural and best believe I'm NEVER going back!!!

I love being natural. Just like any hair/woman relationship it's got it's ups and downs. Yes, I wish it was thicker, grew faster and wasn't so high maintenance but hey this is what God gave me. My hair loves being taken care of, it likes quality products. It doesn't have to be expensive but it's gotta have have the right ingredients and I have to be gentle with it. I don't always do a good job but here are a few of my inspirations/hope for my hair. Enjoy!!


Its official, I'm going back to school. I miss school, I miss learning and being on a campus. I've made the decision and even told my boss about it. I've prayed about it and still praying that God will direct my ways regarding what program to study.

I wish I would have been a praying high school kid to seek God's face regarding what school, degree, e.t.c I should go into. There's no time for regret I guess, but this time I'm not making the same mistake twice.

I take my first HR class at UC this spring and I've excited about it. I got interested in HR after working at my current position and with the research I've done, I think it will be a great fit for me. It's a career that has a lot of women, so I guess competition will be fierce but it's also a career that seems to be friendly to women who want to have a family.

Cost of school will be high but I trust that God will provide, He did during my undergrad and I know He'll do it again.

Looking forward to being a student again and joining the ranks of those who complain about having too much work to do and not getting enough sleep.

Happy Learning!

Oh to be FREE!

Money can enslave people, rich or poor. Like most women, money to me is a form of security. I've gotten to the place where I don't depend on it to do things only God can do. I have learned with God's help that the money I have is God's and I need to honor Him with everything He gives me, including money.

I've been credit card debt free for almost two years now and let me tell you something, it's a wonderful feeling. I still have what they call "good debt" - The house and student loan. We paid cash for the wedding (I'll do a post on how we pulled off a 400+ people wedding for about $8,000 some day). However, in the meantime I wanted to give some information that I've learned from friends and just researching regarding debt.

I know three people who are currently using the debt consolidation method and they swear by it. If you truly can't afford to pay off all your debt like I did, then that is the best option. Depending on how much debt you have it can take anywhere from one to five years to complete the program.

If you don't already know this, I suggest you check out this website to find out how the new laws that will be in effect 2/2/10 will affect you and your credit card debt. http://finance.yahoo.com/banking-budgeting/article/108854/the-new-credit-card-rules-what-to-expect?mod=bb-creditcards

I would suggest Dave Ramsey (www.daveramsey.com) for anyone who just doesn't know where to start. We took his 10 weeks course and learned so much about money and how to "live like no one else today, so you can live like no one else tomorrow".

In our family, the Mr. brought in some debt and we are working very hard to get him debt free as well so our family can officially be FREE of financial burdens.

Although it's difficult but we are cash paying family. I understand that no everyone can do this, but we really believe in it. If I don't have the cash to pay for it at the time of purchase, then I don't buy it. We still have credit cards and use them but each month they are paid in full.

I'm not a financial advisor but I'm pretty good with making and managing budgets, if you need any help or encouragement, please let me know and I'll be more that happy to help!

Happy Freedom!


This winter I've warmed up and scrapped my own car at least twice, shoveled snow everytime it's snowed and NEVER done laundry!I HATE DOING LAUNDRY.

Before I started shacking up with the Mr. I remember crying one winter morning because I had to scrape my car windows as all the men on my street scrapped their partner's cars. I swore that day that I'll never do this once I'm married.

Well, I got married and occasionally scrape my car window. The truth is, he does it most times but there are days when he's sick or I have to leave way too early for him to wake up. He offers, but I usually give him a break. Iknow, I'm too nice. :O)

The snow shovel thing has become my workout. I have an EFX machine that I don't use often because it's in a room without TV or anything that will create excitement for a girl working out. So, to treat myself I join the Mr. outside and we spend quality time shoveling, throwing snow balls at each other and just goofing off. The work gets done, but we have a great time and I get a great full body workout!

Friends with wedding bands

Should married people have single friends of the opposite gender?

The answer in my opinion is quite simple- YES! However the “yes” is contingent on several factors, so I guess it’s not so simple. Is your partner is ok with the friendship? Do they know and communicate regularly with the “friend”?. Like all relationships, the friendship should have healthy boundaries. You probably should not be calling each other late at night or only when your spouse leaves the room or house. It’s also probably not a good idea to bash your spouse to your friend even if you are all friends. I know – “you’ve been friends even before you met your partner” and to that I say, you should have married him or her!

Now, trust me my best girlfriends and the Mr. often make fun of me but typically it’s to my face and if they do it without me being present one of them tells me about it. I love that my best friends and my husband gets along. In our case, I have more single male friends than he does single female friends but I have very strong boundaries. He knows about every one of them and if he feels slightly uncomfortable about conversations that we might have had or the friendship he knows that I’ll put our marriage first and do whatever is necessary to safe guard it.

I think people sometimes give the enemy (The Devil) way too much credit and then there are others who do not give him enough credit. I’d like to think that I have a healthy balance. The devil is wicked and is looking for anyway to destroy my marriage because marriage in my opinion next to our relationship with Him is the most important relationship humans have. From experience when something is that important to God, it becomes equally important for the enemy to destroy it.

Don’t forget the vows you made on your wedding day. You promised to put nothing or anyone above your spouse and what you have as a couple, so keep your promise and be cautious of your friendships.

Happy marriage!

Wedding season is almost here

In 2008, I was in three weddings and attend about five others. In 2009, I was in one (Bride) and attended at least four. I typically love weddings, actually I do love weddings except for the ones I don't know anything about the couple's story or if I smell divorce anytime in the future for the happy couple. I won't go to a wedding if I don't know the couple unless I go as my best friend's date.

I cry everytime as the couple exchange their vows proclaiming their undying love to one another. I get way too excited when they walk down the isle after they are pronounced husband and wife. I absolutely love to watch the first dance and the couple's interaction throughout the day or night. I really do love weddings however they can get overwhelming.

I was chatting with an unmarried girlfriend of mine. She was telling me about all the weddings she already has to attend this upcoming season and how she may have to miss potentially fun international trip to accomodate the weddings. Then she asked - Do I have to go to all these weddings?

My answer: BIG FAT NO!! If you are a Christian, pray about it - I know cliche but from my experience you can never pray too much. If you are not a Christian or not the type to pray about everything then here is a list for you. If you can say no to three out of the five questions, then send a card/gift or neither and tell the couple no.

1. Do I know the full story of how they met?
2. Do I know the full story of how he popped the question?
3. Will the couple notice if I didn't show up to the ceremony?
4. Was I invited to the shower or other pre-wedding events?
5. Would I rather wash my hair than go to the wedding?

The truth is, most couples invite people hoping that about twenty percent won't show up so technically you could be doing them a favor.



Date, kiss, time - These are all exciting times in our lives. For some, it's best to remember them with a specific person in mind because our first date/kiss/time was not a great one. I fall under that category. I only want to remember my first kiss/date/time with the Mr. ;O)

My co-worker/friend has a first date today. I guess it's not really a first date because they've hung out before. This however is the first time he actually asked her out on a "date" and she is as nervous as a teenage girl on prom night. She hasn't dated in almost three years and simply has "forgotten what people do one dates." For some odd reason she asked me "what do I do on a first date?"

I didn't really know what to say but the cliche "be yourself" response that everyone says. I don't think it helped. Later on, she asked "should I pay for my meal?" My reaction made me realise how old fashion I am.

So, here it goes - simplyese's ten first date rules. It worked for me! :O)

1. No kissing!
2. Unless you have a really good reason, the guy should pick the gal up.
3. Unless you have a really good reason, the guy pays for the date (modern women, if you really feel the need to pay - offer to get dessert at a different location and pay for that).
4. Christian women - if his faith does not come up through his actions or words, yellow flag!
5. Unless you are both Political Science major and it's a presidential election year, stay away from politics.
6. No off color jokes, it's just plain tacky!
7. Unless they are your server, do not bring up or discuss your ex.
8. Don't say "that's funny" and not laugh - that only happens when things are not funny.
9. Avoid alcohol or other drugs.
10.Do not brag about how much you make or complain about how you don't make enough - better yet avoid the paycheck conversation!

Happy Dating!

pretty and delicious

I've been called a snob, a food snob to be exact. If it's going into my mouth, it's needs to look and taste great. If it might end up on my hips then it better be worth it. The Mr. had this two days back to back for lunch and he approved. You can use pretty much any type of pasta.

2 cups of whole wheat pasta
1 cup of red bell peppers
1 cup of yellow bell peppers
1 small red onions
8oz boneless chicken breast grilled (optional)
Black pepper
1/2 tsp Crushed red pepper
2 TBSP of olive oil
1/2 cup of parmasean cheese

Follow the directions on the pasta box. Dice the peppers and onions and set aside. Heat the oil, add the onions, then add the bell peppers. Add as much salt and pepper for your taste buds. Cook for about 3-5 minutes and remove from heat. Mix the pasta and the vegetables over medium heat. Add as much cheese as you'd like and save some for additional topping when you serve. After about three minutes, turn the heat off and serve with fresh salad and a glass of wine!

Enjoy and happy eating!

Simply yum-OH!

This is a pretty simple recipe for lunch or dinner. The best part is that it taste even better than it looks.

1 Large tomatoe
1/2 bag of fresh spinach (you can use frozen)
1/2 red onions
black pepper
cayenne pepper
1 chicken boullion cube (you can use maggi or know as well)
1 large potatoe
1 TBSP of olive oil

First cut the potato into eight pieces, add salt and water then bring to boil until it's cooked.
Slice the onions and tomatoes. Heat up the olive oil and then sautee the onion and once it's tender, add the sliced tomatoes. Add the spices and boullion to suite your taste buds and stir as needed. Once the sauce is completely cooked turn the heat off, add the spinach and stir. Serve with the cooked potatoes.

By the way, you can also add any protein like baked chicken or fish to make a complete meal.

If you are nigerian, just mix some left over stew with spinach and serve it with boiled potatoes.

What would you do for $.3

I have a coupon folder, a great idea I got from our friends. So, after church on Sundays I spend a couple of hours cutting coupons while the Mr. does laundry or plays video games. I do all of this to save a buck here and there. I like to save money, it gives me great joy when I use a coupon or find something on sale. I love 75% off sales, I'm like a kid in a candy store. I'll do just about anything moral or legal to save money but I think I hit my low on Sunday.

I went to a local grocery store (Kroger) with my own grocery bag. After giving her my coupons, which saved me two dollars I swipped my card and was off with a smile on my face. However, the joy was quickly diminshed when I noticed that the cashier forgot to give me my discount for brining my own bag. Not to worry though, because I'm still in the store. So, I marched to the customer service desk with a smile on my face and the receipt to prove my argument that I was denied an extra discount.

The customer service rep was very kind and courteous and with a puzzled look on her face, she opened the register and handed me three penies. With a sigh of relief, I walked out of the store knowing that I have three more cents in my wallet.

I told the Mr. about it and he just laughed and gave me the look of "I wouldn't expect anything less from you." :O)

Happy savings!

Death Bed

Our church is doing a series on relationships, romantic ones and marriages to be precise. Sometimes, it seems like we can't hear enough about them but I think the conversations about relationships and marriage should never cease. As humans we think, oh I've heard that before but still the divorce rates continues to increase at an alarming rate.

This week, our pastor talked about conflicts and oh boy was it good. He talked about the basic needs for each gender - Men need respect and women need love. If you disagree that's fine but good luck with your realtionships. I truly believe that if a couple does not embrace this fact about each gender, marriage will be even more difficult for them.

During the sermon, our pastor said that in a marriage each partner should be able to say on their death bed that they truly were loved or respected. So, I had to do some self reflection - If I was to die today, would I say that I was loved? The answer is yes! More importantly, would I say that I respected my husband? The answer sadly would be not always.

So, I am challenging myself and other women to respect our husbands with our words and actions. This is especially difficult when you feel like you are not loved but we are not called to respect only when we feel loved, so good luck and let me know how it goes.

Happy Marriage!

Questions for God

When I wake up to news like Thousands of people in Haiti feared dead, I can't help but ask "Why God?" I know and believe that He gets the big picture and that the big picture is not about me or His other creations - It's about His Glory.

So, then I ask, how does taking the lives of thousands within two weeks of a new year bring you Glory? This is one of many questions I have for God when we meet but I've also been reminded by friends that when that day comes, everything might make sense or I might be too much in awe to care about the answers.

As a human who loves Jesus and believes that He has a reason for every good thing he gives us and every bad thing that he allows to happen, I just have to do my part and pray to the Kings of kings, Lord or lords, the Alpha and the Omega, the begining and the end. The one who loves his children more than we could ever imagine.

God please be with every single person that is affected by this earthquake. I pray that anyone that is alive and stuck under buildings, you will keep them safe. I pray for children who will be orphans, wives who will become widows, husbands who will become widowers. I pray that they will in all of this tragedy get closer and know you more! I pray that your hand of protection will be over them and that your perfect will be done. Amen!

Who's the Boss?

Last week on the Russ Parr morning show, they were discussing a letter written by a very angry black man about how black women will not find mates until they “know their place in the home and work on their attitudes.” That wasn’t the most interesting or annoying part only because I’ve heard these tired excuses so many times explaining why black men choose to only date or marry white women. Yes, tired excuses! If you only like to date a certain race, then say it don’t insult both groups of women with excuses, God gave you a pair – PLEASE USE THEM!

I'm off my soap box now! :O)

As each member of the show gave their opinions on the letter, I was saddened by what Russ and another caller had to say. They pretty much said that a relationship/marriage is a team and in a team there should not be one person who leads. I was shocked by that statement, how many sports team do you know without leadership? When you find one, please tell me how well they are doing? What about the successful companies out there, leadership-free huh? I’m hoping what they meant to say is that a team or relationship does not need a leader who is more focused on themselves than the team.

Russ in a joking manner said that in his house he doesn’t make any rules because if he did, his “wife would beat him.” I know he was joking but why is it that if there will be someone making the rules; it needs to be the woman? Why is it not acceptable for men to make rules in their homes as well? Every home/team needs a leader, as Christians I think the men are called to be leaders in their home. The first rule for men was not to make rules and regulations for their wives to follow; it was for them to love their wives like Christ loved The Church that he even gave up his life for her. This is not just giving up your life in the physical sense but also figuratively. Can you give up your pride, anger, selfishness e.t.c for your wife and your family? If you think being a leader is about rules and who’s the boss, think again or at least read Ephesians 5.

In our home, my husband is the leader or captain but I am grateful that his leadership style is less him focused and more us focused. As the leader of our family, he has a lot of responsibilities – He has to put our needs before his and as a human, I know that’s a difficult task. More importantly, he has to put God’s desire for us above our earthly desires and that sometimes is even harder!

Happy leading/following!


The Disi family vacations has been decided upon!! Both employers have been alerted, we've been saving and now it's time to start planning for the best year of vacationing!
For starters, I'll be with the love of my life, with a side of visiting our home country and topped with going to the City where "the rich people of the world hangout". How are we able to go you ask? Well, every once in a while they allow not so rich people in!

Coming back from Duabai in the summer may not be so fun since our passports will show that we've been to Nigeria which is now on the list of 13 high alert countries at least in the eyes of The U.S of A! Thank you very much rich nigerian boy, traveling will never be the same again and I'll think of you everytime someone gives me the I don't trust you look when they open my passport. :O)


Five things I’ve learned since August 8, 2009.

1. Love is definitely a choice that I have to make daily.

2. Letting my flesh die for the sake of my marriage is hard but well worth it.

3. My husband can NEVER make me happy or joyful, only God can.

4. Sex is absolutely an AMAZING gift!

5. Getting and staying married has been the most difficult positive decision I’ve ever made.

Big mac or Blooming Onions?

Say a friend promised to buy you dinner for whatever reason and then they ask you “McDonald’s or Outback Steak house”, which one would you pick? I guess the choice is obvious to most people unless you absolutely hate Outback. Well, last week I did the exact same thing to the Mr. but not with food.

I told him I wanted to make out – you know, first base through second or third, depending on how much of a prude you are. His response was LOL! Yes, the man literally laughed out loud and gave me a look of “you’re kidding right?” At first, my feelings were hurt but the more that I thought about it, the more his response made sense.

I had no biological reason to not take him to Outback; I just wanted to go to McDonalds just for old time sake. Surprisingly, I missed the good old days of just eating at McDonalds knowing that Outback was not an option. These days in our house, when we go to McDonalds it’s just to get appetizers – We always end up getting Outback for the main course or dessert!

"Test Kitchen"

I started cooking at age 9, it's in my DNA and I absolutely love it! I'm that girl who fantasizes about her dream kitchen and appliances. I cannot walk by a Williams-Sonoma without going in and dreaming of what life would be if I had my dream kitchen to go along with the appliances.

The Mr. is tired and crashed on the couch - he had to work today. So, since I have no one to entertain me, I thought why not watch PBS ThinkTV. If you don't know what ThinkTV is, you probably have cable. We don't have cable because I'm way too cheap and can think of a dozen other things to do as newly weds than watch T.V. Tonight on the show I learned one more thing to add to my kitchen encyclopedia. Here is a list of five tips I have learned throughout the years that might be useful next time you are in the kitchen.

1. To help your pie crust not get too moist, use half the amount of water needed and half vodka! I know right, who da thunk?

2. If you are craving fried chicken but don't want or can't afford the calories here's what you can do. Parboil the chicken with your choice spices and onions, bake the chicken for 30 minutes until it's completely cooked in a 375 degree oven. Then take the chicken out, saturate it with pam oil spray and broil for 15 - 25 minutes. This gives the chicken a cripsy look and taste without the fat! Oh so delish!!!

3. Next time you bake with a cake mix, use plain applesauce instead of oil and It will save you calories and makes the cake deliciously moisture.

4. If you ever mistakenly put too much pepper in your dish, don't sweat it - reach for a plain yoghurt and depending on the dish you can add it to the meal and it will reduce the heat factor.

5. I've only tested this theory a handful of times but so far it has worked. Next time you are cutting an onion -DON'T SAY A WORD. Seriously, don't say anything. Keep your mouth shut your eyes will thank you for it!

Happy cooking!

Leap of Faith

My life is mine to live and God's to direct! I wear a lot of hats, most willingly and others just came with the package(s). At the end of the day though, all the hats I wear make ME the woman I am today!

I am a follower of Christ and wife/stepmom (new). I am a sister, daugther and friend to many. Last but not least, I am and will continue to be a student in the the school of Life. In my twenty-eight years of living of which twenty-five of those I can be held responsible for, I have gone through many trials but mostly triumphs. My hope is that maybe one woman, girl, man or boy can learn from my mistakes and accomplishments.

I am not an expert in anything but being me. I'll talk about issues and topics that affect me and my surroundings. I'll give my opinion but that is simply what it is - an opinion. When I am misinformed or just plain wrong, I welcome and appreciate corrections.

As a cookbook/recipe collector and a chef wanna be, you'll hear a lot about foods that are as pleasing to the eyes as they are to your tastebuds. I may not travel as often as I'd like but when I do, there'll be proof. As a Nigerian woman with natural hair, I'll share my findings and experiences with my locs. As a follower of Christ, wife, mother and friend you'll hopefully watch me fall and get back up but nevertheless GROW! Thank you for coming along this journey and growing with me!


About this blog

The purpose of this blog is to advocate, develop, educate, entertain, enlighten, inspire the blogger and the readers/followers. Enjoy!