I'm a simple girl in a complex world.

Who's the Boss?

Last week on the Russ Parr morning show, they were discussing a letter written by a very angry black man about how black women will not find mates until they “know their place in the home and work on their attitudes.” That wasn’t the most interesting or annoying part only because I’ve heard these tired excuses so many times explaining why black men choose to only date or marry white women. Yes, tired excuses! If you only like to date a certain race, then say it don’t insult both groups of women with excuses, God gave you a pair – PLEASE USE THEM!

I'm off my soap box now! :O)

As each member of the show gave their opinions on the letter, I was saddened by what Russ and another caller had to say. They pretty much said that a relationship/marriage is a team and in a team there should not be one person who leads. I was shocked by that statement, how many sports team do you know without leadership? When you find one, please tell me how well they are doing? What about the successful companies out there, leadership-free huh? I’m hoping what they meant to say is that a team or relationship does not need a leader who is more focused on themselves than the team.

Russ in a joking manner said that in his house he doesn’t make any rules because if he did, his “wife would beat him.” I know he was joking but why is it that if there will be someone making the rules; it needs to be the woman? Why is it not acceptable for men to make rules in their homes as well? Every home/team needs a leader, as Christians I think the men are called to be leaders in their home. The first rule for men was not to make rules and regulations for their wives to follow; it was for them to love their wives like Christ loved The Church that he even gave up his life for her. This is not just giving up your life in the physical sense but also figuratively. Can you give up your pride, anger, selfishness e.t.c for your wife and your family? If you think being a leader is about rules and who’s the boss, think again or at least read Ephesians 5.

In our home, my husband is the leader or captain but I am grateful that his leadership style is less him focused and more us focused. As the leader of our family, he has a lot of responsibilities – He has to put our needs before his and as a human, I know that’s a difficult task. More importantly, he has to put God’s desire for us above our earthly desires and that sometimes is even harder!

Happy leading/following!


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