I'm a simple girl in a complex world.

Wedding season is almost here

In 2008, I was in three weddings and attend about five others. In 2009, I was in one (Bride) and attended at least four. I typically love weddings, actually I do love weddings except for the ones I don't know anything about the couple's story or if I smell divorce anytime in the future for the happy couple. I won't go to a wedding if I don't know the couple unless I go as my best friend's date.

I cry everytime as the couple exchange their vows proclaiming their undying love to one another. I get way too excited when they walk down the isle after they are pronounced husband and wife. I absolutely love to watch the first dance and the couple's interaction throughout the day or night. I really do love weddings however they can get overwhelming.

I was chatting with an unmarried girlfriend of mine. She was telling me about all the weddings she already has to attend this upcoming season and how she may have to miss potentially fun international trip to accomodate the weddings. Then she asked - Do I have to go to all these weddings?

My answer: BIG FAT NO!! If you are a Christian, pray about it - I know cliche but from my experience you can never pray too much. If you are not a Christian or not the type to pray about everything then here is a list for you. If you can say no to three out of the five questions, then send a card/gift or neither and tell the couple no.

1. Do I know the full story of how they met?
2. Do I know the full story of how he popped the question?
3. Will the couple notice if I didn't show up to the ceremony?
4. Was I invited to the shower or other pre-wedding events?
5. Would I rather wash my hair than go to the wedding?

The truth is, most couples invite people hoping that about twenty percent won't show up so technically you could be doing them a favor.



Date, kiss, time - These are all exciting times in our lives. For some, it's best to remember them with a specific person in mind because our first date/kiss/time was not a great one. I fall under that category. I only want to remember my first kiss/date/time with the Mr. ;O)

My co-worker/friend has a first date today. I guess it's not really a first date because they've hung out before. This however is the first time he actually asked her out on a "date" and she is as nervous as a teenage girl on prom night. She hasn't dated in almost three years and simply has "forgotten what people do one dates." For some odd reason she asked me "what do I do on a first date?"

I didn't really know what to say but the cliche "be yourself" response that everyone says. I don't think it helped. Later on, she asked "should I pay for my meal?" My reaction made me realise how old fashion I am.

So, here it goes - simplyese's ten first date rules. It worked for me! :O)

1. No kissing!
2. Unless you have a really good reason, the guy should pick the gal up.
3. Unless you have a really good reason, the guy pays for the date (modern women, if you really feel the need to pay - offer to get dessert at a different location and pay for that).
4. Christian women - if his faith does not come up through his actions or words, yellow flag!
5. Unless you are both Political Science major and it's a presidential election year, stay away from politics.
6. No off color jokes, it's just plain tacky!
7. Unless they are your server, do not bring up or discuss your ex.
8. Don't say "that's funny" and not laugh - that only happens when things are not funny.
9. Avoid alcohol or other drugs.
10.Do not brag about how much you make or complain about how you don't make enough - better yet avoid the paycheck conversation!

Happy Dating!

pretty and delicious

I've been called a snob, a food snob to be exact. If it's going into my mouth, it's needs to look and taste great. If it might end up on my hips then it better be worth it. The Mr. had this two days back to back for lunch and he approved. You can use pretty much any type of pasta.

2 cups of whole wheat pasta
1 cup of red bell peppers
1 cup of yellow bell peppers
1 small red onions
8oz boneless chicken breast grilled (optional)
Black pepper
1/2 tsp Crushed red pepper
2 TBSP of olive oil
1/2 cup of parmasean cheese

Follow the directions on the pasta box. Dice the peppers and onions and set aside. Heat the oil, add the onions, then add the bell peppers. Add as much salt and pepper for your taste buds. Cook for about 3-5 minutes and remove from heat. Mix the pasta and the vegetables over medium heat. Add as much cheese as you'd like and save some for additional topping when you serve. After about three minutes, turn the heat off and serve with fresh salad and a glass of wine!

Enjoy and happy eating!

Simply yum-OH!

This is a pretty simple recipe for lunch or dinner. The best part is that it taste even better than it looks.

1 Large tomatoe
1/2 bag of fresh spinach (you can use frozen)
1/2 red onions
black pepper
cayenne pepper
1 chicken boullion cube (you can use maggi or know as well)
1 large potatoe
1 TBSP of olive oil

First cut the potato into eight pieces, add salt and water then bring to boil until it's cooked.
Slice the onions and tomatoes. Heat up the olive oil and then sautee the onion and once it's tender, add the sliced tomatoes. Add the spices and boullion to suite your taste buds and stir as needed. Once the sauce is completely cooked turn the heat off, add the spinach and stir. Serve with the cooked potatoes.

By the way, you can also add any protein like baked chicken or fish to make a complete meal.

If you are nigerian, just mix some left over stew with spinach and serve it with boiled potatoes.

What would you do for $.3

I have a coupon folder, a great idea I got from our friends. So, after church on Sundays I spend a couple of hours cutting coupons while the Mr. does laundry or plays video games. I do all of this to save a buck here and there. I like to save money, it gives me great joy when I use a coupon or find something on sale. I love 75% off sales, I'm like a kid in a candy store. I'll do just about anything moral or legal to save money but I think I hit my low on Sunday.

I went to a local grocery store (Kroger) with my own grocery bag. After giving her my coupons, which saved me two dollars I swipped my card and was off with a smile on my face. However, the joy was quickly diminshed when I noticed that the cashier forgot to give me my discount for brining my own bag. Not to worry though, because I'm still in the store. So, I marched to the customer service desk with a smile on my face and the receipt to prove my argument that I was denied an extra discount.

The customer service rep was very kind and courteous and with a puzzled look on her face, she opened the register and handed me three penies. With a sigh of relief, I walked out of the store knowing that I have three more cents in my wallet.

I told the Mr. about it and he just laughed and gave me the look of "I wouldn't expect anything less from you." :O)

Happy savings!

Death Bed

Our church is doing a series on relationships, romantic ones and marriages to be precise. Sometimes, it seems like we can't hear enough about them but I think the conversations about relationships and marriage should never cease. As humans we think, oh I've heard that before but still the divorce rates continues to increase at an alarming rate.

This week, our pastor talked about conflicts and oh boy was it good. He talked about the basic needs for each gender - Men need respect and women need love. If you disagree that's fine but good luck with your realtionships. I truly believe that if a couple does not embrace this fact about each gender, marriage will be even more difficult for them.

During the sermon, our pastor said that in a marriage each partner should be able to say on their death bed that they truly were loved or respected. So, I had to do some self reflection - If I was to die today, would I say that I was loved? The answer is yes! More importantly, would I say that I respected my husband? The answer sadly would be not always.

So, I am challenging myself and other women to respect our husbands with our words and actions. This is especially difficult when you feel like you are not loved but we are not called to respect only when we feel loved, so good luck and let me know how it goes.

Happy Marriage!

Questions for God

When I wake up to news like Thousands of people in Haiti feared dead, I can't help but ask "Why God?" I know and believe that He gets the big picture and that the big picture is not about me or His other creations - It's about His Glory.

So, then I ask, how does taking the lives of thousands within two weeks of a new year bring you Glory? This is one of many questions I have for God when we meet but I've also been reminded by friends that when that day comes, everything might make sense or I might be too much in awe to care about the answers.

As a human who loves Jesus and believes that He has a reason for every good thing he gives us and every bad thing that he allows to happen, I just have to do my part and pray to the Kings of kings, Lord or lords, the Alpha and the Omega, the begining and the end. The one who loves his children more than we could ever imagine.

God please be with every single person that is affected by this earthquake. I pray that anyone that is alive and stuck under buildings, you will keep them safe. I pray for children who will be orphans, wives who will become widows, husbands who will become widowers. I pray that they will in all of this tragedy get closer and know you more! I pray that your hand of protection will be over them and that your perfect will be done. Amen!

Who's the Boss?

Last week on the Russ Parr morning show, they were discussing a letter written by a very angry black man about how black women will not find mates until they “know their place in the home and work on their attitudes.” That wasn’t the most interesting or annoying part only because I’ve heard these tired excuses so many times explaining why black men choose to only date or marry white women. Yes, tired excuses! If you only like to date a certain race, then say it don’t insult both groups of women with excuses, God gave you a pair – PLEASE USE THEM!

I'm off my soap box now! :O)

As each member of the show gave their opinions on the letter, I was saddened by what Russ and another caller had to say. They pretty much said that a relationship/marriage is a team and in a team there should not be one person who leads. I was shocked by that statement, how many sports team do you know without leadership? When you find one, please tell me how well they are doing? What about the successful companies out there, leadership-free huh? I’m hoping what they meant to say is that a team or relationship does not need a leader who is more focused on themselves than the team.

Russ in a joking manner said that in his house he doesn’t make any rules because if he did, his “wife would beat him.” I know he was joking but why is it that if there will be someone making the rules; it needs to be the woman? Why is it not acceptable for men to make rules in their homes as well? Every home/team needs a leader, as Christians I think the men are called to be leaders in their home. The first rule for men was not to make rules and regulations for their wives to follow; it was for them to love their wives like Christ loved The Church that he even gave up his life for her. This is not just giving up your life in the physical sense but also figuratively. Can you give up your pride, anger, selfishness e.t.c for your wife and your family? If you think being a leader is about rules and who’s the boss, think again or at least read Ephesians 5.

In our home, my husband is the leader or captain but I am grateful that his leadership style is less him focused and more us focused. As the leader of our family, he has a lot of responsibilities – He has to put our needs before his and as a human, I know that’s a difficult task. More importantly, he has to put God’s desire for us above our earthly desires and that sometimes is even harder!

Happy leading/following!


The Disi family vacations has been decided upon!! Both employers have been alerted, we've been saving and now it's time to start planning for the best year of vacationing!
For starters, I'll be with the love of my life, with a side of visiting our home country and topped with going to the City where "the rich people of the world hangout". How are we able to go you ask? Well, every once in a while they allow not so rich people in!

Coming back from Duabai in the summer may not be so fun since our passports will show that we've been to Nigeria which is now on the list of 13 high alert countries at least in the eyes of The U.S of A! Thank you very much rich nigerian boy, traveling will never be the same again and I'll think of you everytime someone gives me the I don't trust you look when they open my passport. :O)


Five things I’ve learned since August 8, 2009.

1. Love is definitely a choice that I have to make daily.

2. Letting my flesh die for the sake of my marriage is hard but well worth it.

3. My husband can NEVER make me happy or joyful, only God can.

4. Sex is absolutely an AMAZING gift!

5. Getting and staying married has been the most difficult positive decision I’ve ever made.

Big mac or Blooming Onions?

Say a friend promised to buy you dinner for whatever reason and then they ask you “McDonald’s or Outback Steak house”, which one would you pick? I guess the choice is obvious to most people unless you absolutely hate Outback. Well, last week I did the exact same thing to the Mr. but not with food.

I told him I wanted to make out – you know, first base through second or third, depending on how much of a prude you are. His response was LOL! Yes, the man literally laughed out loud and gave me a look of “you’re kidding right?” At first, my feelings were hurt but the more that I thought about it, the more his response made sense.

I had no biological reason to not take him to Outback; I just wanted to go to McDonalds just for old time sake. Surprisingly, I missed the good old days of just eating at McDonalds knowing that Outback was not an option. These days in our house, when we go to McDonalds it’s just to get appetizers – We always end up getting Outback for the main course or dessert!

"Test Kitchen"

I started cooking at age 9, it's in my DNA and I absolutely love it! I'm that girl who fantasizes about her dream kitchen and appliances. I cannot walk by a Williams-Sonoma without going in and dreaming of what life would be if I had my dream kitchen to go along with the appliances.

The Mr. is tired and crashed on the couch - he had to work today. So, since I have no one to entertain me, I thought why not watch PBS ThinkTV. If you don't know what ThinkTV is, you probably have cable. We don't have cable because I'm way too cheap and can think of a dozen other things to do as newly weds than watch T.V. Tonight on the show I learned one more thing to add to my kitchen encyclopedia. Here is a list of five tips I have learned throughout the years that might be useful next time you are in the kitchen.

1. To help your pie crust not get too moist, use half the amount of water needed and half vodka! I know right, who da thunk?

2. If you are craving fried chicken but don't want or can't afford the calories here's what you can do. Parboil the chicken with your choice spices and onions, bake the chicken for 30 minutes until it's completely cooked in a 375 degree oven. Then take the chicken out, saturate it with pam oil spray and broil for 15 - 25 minutes. This gives the chicken a cripsy look and taste without the fat! Oh so delish!!!

3. Next time you bake with a cake mix, use plain applesauce instead of oil and It will save you calories and makes the cake deliciously moisture.

4. If you ever mistakenly put too much pepper in your dish, don't sweat it - reach for a plain yoghurt and depending on the dish you can add it to the meal and it will reduce the heat factor.

5. I've only tested this theory a handful of times but so far it has worked. Next time you are cutting an onion -DON'T SAY A WORD. Seriously, don't say anything. Keep your mouth shut your eyes will thank you for it!

Happy cooking!

Leap of Faith

My life is mine to live and God's to direct! I wear a lot of hats, most willingly and others just came with the package(s). At the end of the day though, all the hats I wear make ME the woman I am today!

I am a follower of Christ and wife/stepmom (new). I am a sister, daugther and friend to many. Last but not least, I am and will continue to be a student in the the school of Life. In my twenty-eight years of living of which twenty-five of those I can be held responsible for, I have gone through many trials but mostly triumphs. My hope is that maybe one woman, girl, man or boy can learn from my mistakes and accomplishments.

I am not an expert in anything but being me. I'll talk about issues and topics that affect me and my surroundings. I'll give my opinion but that is simply what it is - an opinion. When I am misinformed or just plain wrong, I welcome and appreciate corrections.

As a cookbook/recipe collector and a chef wanna be, you'll hear a lot about foods that are as pleasing to the eyes as they are to your tastebuds. I may not travel as often as I'd like but when I do, there'll be proof. As a Nigerian woman with natural hair, I'll share my findings and experiences with my locs. As a follower of Christ, wife, mother and friend you'll hopefully watch me fall and get back up but nevertheless GROW! Thank you for coming along this journey and growing with me!


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